Being a leader is not about being liked
Leadership is not a popularity contest. Leadership is about doing the right thing at the right time rather than the popular thing. We should all know that unlike what we believe, leaders are not running democracies. Being a leader is not about being liked. The "world leaders", as we tenderly call them, are not leaders per se, with all due respect. In fact, my next door neighbour, or yours as well, might be more of a leader than any of of these political actors. We all know that elections are simply popularity contests.
The so-called political leaders represent a very good example about what the quest for popularity is, and not so much about what leadership should truly be.
We have to be more honest as well and sincerely express that leadership is not necessarily about charisma or genius and absolutely not about position. Charisma can be a powerful asset in leadership, but it should not be viewed as an imposed prerequisite that might discourage many people. Some people have charisma, but this does not automatically make them leaders and vice versa. Ingenious ideas do not happen every day. Let's face it, bright ideas do not crop up all over the place like mushrooms. On the contrary, leadership is more about ordinary people dealing with ordinary situations in the right way and for the right cause. Leadership is more about our beautiful contribution and service to the world, and less about our IQ or compelling attractiveness. Leadership is not about this glamorous and intimidating idea promoted everywhere, which tags leadership as completely unreachable in order to discourage people from trying.
There is a common old obsession with leadership, that is constantly propelled by the media. The media creates mystification for these ordinary human beings, making us perceive them as gods or goddesses that we should venerate without even questioning anything about them. Unfortunately, this propaganda makes us wrongly believe that if we have no charisma or genius, we cannot be leaders. This is completely wrong! I deeply believe that anybody can be a leader in their own way, without any pressure from the ones who naively believe they have a monopoly on leadership. These so-called "experts" set the rules based on their own vision of leadership as a privilege. I surely know that many people will not like these words, but they simply illustrate the fact that leadership, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are everyone’s rights; this is a reality we all have to face.
There should be no elitism in leadership. This elitist propaganda only serves some people in the quest for power and their juicy marketing agenda on how to become a leader. There are so many suffocatingly quick recipes to swallow every night with a book in the hands. By thinking about this fabricated "how to be a leader" process for a few seconds, we will realize that this propaganda limits the essence of leadership itself. Leadership is about uniqueness and the exploration of our own self, not being a forced "copy and paste" type of attitude. Leadership is not about faking the most popular attitude in order to win people over. Leadership is to simply be yourself, or I should say to make the best of yourself. Leadership is about change; all human beings are able to change a situation and transform it for the greatness of all. All human beings are able to affect and transform people's lives; they are all able to inspire excellence in others if they are allowed to do so.
True leaders are different. They are not afraid of speaking their mind. They are fearless in making difficult judgements. Successful leaders make the right decisions and they pay little attention to the popular opinion. These leaders challenge common ideas. They always try to do what is fair and what is right, and we all know how sensitive it is to always make the right decision. Right decisions are often unpopular and fair people are often misjudged. These leaders take risks without having second thought for the public opinion. They will do what is right no matter what. They will face the impossible and make it possible. They will make the right decision, no matter what all the good or bad consequences that will come with it are. True leaders deeply comprehend that leadership is not about bossing around, being in control, or about boosting their ego through popularity scores.
To tell the truth, leadership is about the lack of ego in ourselves. Leadership is so powerful, passionate, and inspiring. Leadership is not only about making "genius" acts reserved just for a few selected people. Leadership should be viewed as a daily process. Indeed, we should all work at being better leaders than we were the day before at home, school, and in the workplace. Some days we will really excel, and other days, we will greatly fail, and this is what leadership is really all about. Leadership is a passionate relationship with ourselves and others, with its big share of ups and downs.
We should all be willing to take a chance to be leaders and challenge the status quo. As a matter of fact, let's be clear with ourselves: leadership is really up to us. Leadership cannot be achieved only in a classroom, or through the reading of a multitude of almost identical books. Leadership is not only knowing the right thing to do, but more importantly doing the right thing. Leadership is an opportunity and a necessity for each human being at every level of any organization or environment.
Leadership is a mindset rather than a position. True leaders must stand up for values that they believe in and live with the consequences. There are so many so-called leaders with empty promises, just like most politicians. Maybe today, it is what politics have become all about: most politicians almost never stand up and speak for their own beliefs and only recite a fabricated, politically correct speech that will win over a few more votes. There are so many politicians in disguise in various other environments who are succeeding at marketing themselves as thought leaders very well.
Leading is the most important responsibility we will ever have in our life; at home, school or in the workplace
Leadership is doing the right thing, rather than the popular thing. It is making courageous choices instead of convenient ones. True leaders do not seek to just please others, they make decisions based on their sense of value and integrity, which should benefit the entire organization. However, let's be realistic and ask ourselves after all, who has the power to determine what is right? And for whom? What is right for you and for me might greatly differ. Leaders need to take into consideration that their role is to be able to solve any difficult situation in a beautiful and truthful manner, and in a way that will empower others too, instead of seeking only to be right. Finally, this is not a question of right or wrong, because the focus should be mostly on solving any difficult situation in a way people would be ready to handle with you. They will be motivated to follow you in any uncertain adventure.
Indeed, how can we make sure that the right decision that we will take will be supported by some, without necessarily being a popular decision. In other words, as leaders, we need to take into consideration that even if leadership is not a popularity contest, it is also about having people around us that are ready to take the risk by supporting our decisions, without striving for popularity. This means having people who trust you as a leader, and not because you are popular. Popularity is always seasonal and temporary, because it is built mostly on people's emotions. As leaders, we really need to established a relationship of trust with people to be able to succeed in the long term. Trust is very important in leadership, especially in challenging situations. Trust is about loyalty and strong commitment, and it takes time and experience to develop. It is through earned trust that our leadership relationship with others can grow far deeper than a relationship built on popularity ever could.
Written by: Karima Hana-Meksem, PhD
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